A Little Bit Of Humour # 121

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 371

Oh, where have you been,
Billy Boy, Billy Boy?
Oh, where have you been,
Charming Billy?
It’s a rhetorical question
Billy Boy, Billy Boy
Because I know you’ve been
Chasing a filly

THE PLURAL OF BOX

So if it is correct that
The plural of box is boxes
Then why is the plural of ox
Oxen and not Oxes

IF CLERGYMEN CAN BE DEFROCKED # 3

If clergymen can be defrocked
Can a promoter be demoted?
Should writers be described?
And musicians be denoted?

IF A PAIR IS A TWOSOME # 1

If a pair is a twosome
And a trio is a threesome
A quartet, a foursome
Then solo is a handsome

IF I HAD A POUND FOR EACH AND EVERY GIRL

If I had a pound for each and every girl
That said that they found me unattractive,
It would increase my worth eventually
And then they would find me attractive

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT ALCOHOL

I always thought that alcohol
Made me funnier, smarter, oh
And a much better dancer
But then I saw myself on video

IF I’M SMILING, I'M THINKING

If I’m smiling, I'm thinking
Of doing something naughty
If you see me laughing, its
Because I've done it already

PROBLEMS ARE ALL ABOUT PERSPECTIVE

Problems are all about perspective
One of those “cup half full” affairs
So Escalators don't break down
They just magically turn into stairs.

SOME OF US LEARN FROM

Some of us learn from
The mistakes of others
The rest of us are destined
To be the others

I HATE PEOPLE WHO USE BIG WORDS

I hate people who use big words
I think it’s pretentious
And they only do it to make
Themselves look perspicacious

MANY MODERN HOMES NOW

Many modern homes now
Have a panic room in it
But to my two daughters
And my dear wife Brigit
Any room is a panic room
When they’ve lost a phone in it

ONE OF LIFE’S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS

One of life’s universal truths
Is not really much of a surprise
But behind every great man
There’s a woman rolling her eyes

A VERTICALLY CHALLENGED MAN

A vertically challenged man
Went to see his GP
Without an appointment
And he was told at reception
That the doctor would see him
But he’d have to a little patient

MY WIFE WAS IN THE BATHROOM

My wife was in the bathroom
When I suddenly heard her shout
She had rubbed on hand cream
And couldn’t turn the knob to get out

FOGHORN LEGHORN LE ROOSTER

Foghorn Leghorn Le Rooster
Crossed a busy Parisian Rue
Because he had something
Important to cockadoodle dooo