Monday 2 May 2022

TIME THE FICKLE FRIEND

 

Time the fickle friend,

though you never wind the spring

the celestial clock ticks on

PICKUP # 4

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

“Wow that dress looks good on you”

You can complement her

“But laying on my bedroom floor

It would look even better”

FLASH GAME

 

A flasher stepped out from the shadows

In front of an unsuspecting old lady

Who just looked pityingly at him and his offering

For no more than a minute or two maybe

 

She mentally took in his description

200 lbs and about 6ft but no taller

Then he said: "You know what this is don't you?"

She replied, "it looks like a penis, only smaller!"

A DRIVEN WOMAN

 

I just got back from the airport

It was a journey of some import

I had to drive the mum in law

Normally a rather onerous chore

But I volunteered this time

And no, I had not lost my mind

She was going home hip hip

So, it was more of a pleasure trip

Sunday 1 May 2022

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 95

What are little girls made of?

"Sugar and spice and all things nice

That's what little girls are made of!"

 

What are big girls made of?

"Allure and entice and all kinds of vice

That's what big girls are made of!" 

ARE YOU WEARING PANTS?

 

Are you wearing pants?

And if you are, are they brief

Or thongs with high cut leg

That barely covers your underneath

ON THAT AND THIS

 

Many hours spent

A whole lifetime lent

Time spent remiss

On that and this

Times sands run

And can’t be undone

Too late to wish

Now stood at the abyss

Time never fails

To balance the scales

Regrets too late

Surrender to fate

Time to repent

Your lifetime lent