We broke up last Christmas
A hasty knee jerk reaction
To a silly misunderstanding
Which I regretted so much
And I was still hoping
For some kind of miracle
That we might make amends
When we met by chance
And there was a spark
I was looking closely
For some kind of sign
That we might go back
To how things were
But it was soon apparent
That it was too late now
To salvage our relationship
That was born and died
You’re just a name in an address book
But thoughts of you pop into my head
Some distant half-forgotten memories
Of when we shared a home and a bed,
In quiet moments I wish us back there
Where I had a special place in your heart
But it would take a Christmas miracle
For us to go back in time to the start
It was a very special Christmas love, but
Too much time has passed since then
And it’s too late now to have regrets
For love that died by the seasons end
I’m not bragging
When
I say this
But
my Penis was once
In
the Guinness Book
Of
World Records
It’s
true, no word of a lie
But
then the Librarian
Told
me to take it out
Contrary to a belief
I’ve
held for a while
Nuance
isn’t actually
French
for paedophile
Not wishing for a moment
To add insult onto
injury
But Cancer Care
has now
Become a growth
industry
Let’s haul out the holly
And
I’ll make you blush
If
you would just let me
Trim
your Christmas bush
On Saint Patrick's Day,
As well as
celebrating
The heritage and
culture
Of the Irish peoples
Celebrations involve
Public parades and
festivals,
Wearing of green
attire
And displaying shamrocks
And drinking to
excess
His feast day is March
17th
