MEDICINAL REJECTION

 

“I can't be your valentine

For medical reasons” said Nick

“God is it serious?” he asked

“No you just make me sick”

IF YOU ARE A LOVER OF PUNS

 

If you are a lover of puns

Then on shrove Tuesday

There is only one conclusion

And that that its pun-cake day

IS IT PANCAKE DAY ALREADY?

 

Is it Pancake Day

Already? Oh dear

It’s really crêped up

On me this year

THE ORIGINS OF FAT TUESDAY

 

The origins of Fat Tuesday

Are Anglican and Catholic

But in our town Fat Tuesday

Is an overweight biker chic

THERE IS A VERY DISTINCT DIFFERENCE

 

There is a very distinct difference

Between Mardi Gras and Fat Tuesday

The former is an all-night party and

You wake up with the latter the next day

ARE YOU WEARING ANY?

 

Are you wearing any?

Beneath your tartan gear

Because if your kilt flares up

There will be a raucous cheer

ON BURNS NIGHT

 

On Burns Night

One thing you must do

Is to eat the Haggis

Before it eats you