Tuesday, 4 July 2023

DESICCATED WIFE

 

Henry the Eight desiccated his dead wife

Though she had always been a paragon,

Then she was finely chopped and put in a jar

And that’s the tale of Catherine of tarragon

JULIUS CAESAR

 

Julius Caesar

Julius deflowers her

Julius dumps her

THE BRIDE TO BE WAS AT THE POULTRY FARM

 

The bride to be was at the Poultry farm

Watching the birds scratching and pecking

And she was absolutely raging, because

It wasn’t the hen night she was expecting

LILY DIED

 

Lily died as she wouldn’t give up wheat

Which was the death of her

But she didn’t have an allergy

She was killed by a Combine harvester

MY GREAT GRANDFATHER NEVER

 

My Great Grandfather never

Threw anything away in his decade

Which was a shame really

As he was killed by a hand grenade

Monday, 3 July 2023

ARE YOU WEARING A PLASTIC MAC?

 

Are you wearing a plastic Mac?

It’s a very practical garment

But wearing it over your clothes

Was the garments original intent

THERE IS ALWAYS SO MUCH PRESSURE

 

There is always so much pressure

To be with people on a holiday

But if there was only one

On which to go your own way

Then that one would of course be

On Independence Day