I AM ATTENDING WALTERS FUNERAL

 

I am attending Walters Funeral

Because I was a friend of his

And I think that today we could

Definitely say where Wally is

BREAKING NEWS IS COMING IN

 

Breaking News is coming in

About a tragedy, I’m being told

It’s at an origami competition

More to follow as it unfolds

THE INSURANCE MAN

 

The Insurance man went

To a funeral in Glasgow

Simply because he had

Never seen a Scottish widow

EVENTUALLY YOU WILL REACH A POINT

 

Eventually you will reach a point,

And I’m there I must admit,

Where I’ve stopped lying about my age

And started bragging about it

WHEN OLDER PERFORMERS DON’T START THEIR ACT

 

When older performers don’t start their act

But begin by telling you their age instead

The crowd goes wild, but what the audience

Is applauding them for is not being dead

ARE YOU WEARING A MAGICIAN’S HAT?

Are you wearing a magician’s hat?

Are you in the magic circle sphere?

But I have been wondering why

You made your clothes disappear

SAD CHEESE

 

Even dairy comestibles

Are sometimes lacking glee

And when at their lowest

They are a very Blue cheese