THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

The English language

Can be quite absurd

i.e. why is abbreviation

Such a long word? 

I HAD A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT

I had a terrible nightmare last night

Which really wasn’t very nice

Which left me thinking, what happens

If you get scared half to death twice? 

A THOUSAND MILE JOURNEY # 1

 

A journey of a thousand miles

Begins with a single step apparently

Well that’s the philosophical view

It begins with a broken fan belt in reality

ARE YOU WEARING A DOILY?

 

Are you wearing a doily?

Oh it’s some kind of hat?

Oh it’s called a fascinator?

Well I never heard of that

I USED TO HAVE A TINY LIZARD

 

I used to have a tiny Lizard

He was really small and cute

I used to call him Tiny,

Because he was “my newt”

I RAN THE CAKE STALL AT THE VILLAGE FETE

 

I ran the Cake stall at the Village Fete

Charging 50 pence per bake

Well, that’s not exactly true

I charged more for “Madeira cake”

WHEN MECHANICAL PROBLEMS OCCUR

 

When mechanical problems occur,

Preferring to be on the ground

Wishing you were in the air

Is a philosophy that’s sound,

Compared to being in the air

Wishing you were on the ground