WOULD YOU THINK ME QUITE MAD

 

Would you think me quite mad

If I asked what bird is always sad

If not, what bird would you say

And would you say the blue jay

WHAT DO YOU CALL A ROOSTER WHO WAKES

 

What do you call a rooster who wakes

You up every morning at five o’clock

His actual name is Foghorn Leghorn

But we like to call him the alarm cock

IT WAS FOGHORN LEGHORN’S BIRTHDAY

 

It was Foghorn Leghorn’s birthday

And he celebrated with his mates

When they threw him a great party

And served up his favourite coop-cakes

ARE YOU WEARING PINCE NEZ?

 

Are you wearing pince nez?

Do I think they suit you? In truth no

As you’re a thirty-four stone woman

Who is never going to look like Poirot

PICKUP # 22

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

“Oh please don’t stop”

You can begin to say

“Because I don’t get to see

Beauty in motion every day”

AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE TARDIS

 

An argument about the Tardis

Kicked off and wouldn’t quit

It started small, but got bigger

Once they properly got into it

I HATE THE OVER USE OF BREXIT

 

I hate the over use of Brexit

The word really makes me see red

Why not call it something like

The Great British Break Off instead