A MAN STOPPED ME IN THE STREET

 

A man stopped me in the street

Which alarmed me from the start

Demanding I apply for a donor card

He was a man after my own heart

THE FIRST TIME I MET MY WIFE

The first time I met my wife,

I didn’t know if it was love

But I knew she was a keeper

As she wore massive gloves 

MY GRANDPARENTS HAVE LOADS OF SAYINGS

 

My grandparents have loads of sayings

“There’s no place like home” being one

But I’ve decided that they’re hypocrites

As they won’t let us put them in one

I HAVE BEEN HAPPILY MARRIED

 

I have been happily married

For five years to my wife Terri

Unfortunately we’ve just celebrated

Our golden anniversary

I WORK FOR A COMPANY

 

I work for a company

Supposedly exploring

But if truth be told

It has me snoring

I drill all day for water

And it’s well boring

I BORROWED TO PAY AN EXORCIST

 

I borrowed to pay an exorcist

Is my shameful confession

But if I don't repay the loan

I’m worried about repossession

MY LAST GIRLFRIEND TREATED ME

 

My last girlfriend treated me

Like a piece of meat

That’s because she was a Vegan

And refused to touch me