IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP

 

My ex-wife and I were in an open relationship

At least I believed it was an open relationship

Until that fateful day of the solicitors meeting

When she stunned me and called it cheating

MY FRIEND GOT A PERSONAL TRAINER

 

My friend got a personal trainer

And trained with him for a while

Starting a year before his wedding

So, I questioned the length of the aisle

I USED TO LIVE ON A FARM AND EVERY TIME

 

I used to live on a farm and every time

I passed the cows in the field I’d rant

And shout the most foul abuse at them

It’s turned out that I’m dairy intolerant

I REALLY HATE MY JOB PASSIONATELY

 

I really hate my job

In fact I have to confess

I hate it with a passion

My boss says I don’t possess

ARE YOU WEARING A CORSAGE? # 2

 

Are you wearing a corsage?

On your elegant wrist

As you stand in the moonlight

And are sweetly kissed

PANAMA HATS

 

Regarding which country makes

Panama hats, I was seriously misled

It turns out they’re not Panamanian

And are made in Ecuador instead

I DON’T BELIEVE IN TRADITIONS

 

I don’t believe in traditions

I have no time for them

And neither did my father

Or his father before him