Saturday, 15 April 2023

WHAT A COINCIDENCE

 

A farmer went straight to the bar

And ordered a glass of champagne

The woman sitting next to him said,

That she had already done the same

 

“What a coincidence” the farmer said

As they clinked glasses

 

He told her it was a very special day

And that he was celebrating

She said it was special for her too

And she was also celebrating

 

“What a coincidence” the farmer said

As they clinked glasses

 

He asked what she was celebrating

She said after many years of marriage

And trying for a family with her husband

She would soon need a baby carriage

 

“What a coincidence” the farmer said

As they clinked glasses

 

He told her he was a chicken farmer

And his hens had been infertile all year

But that day they were all laying again

And that was why he was in good cheer

 

She said that it was indeed great news

But asked what changes he had applied

In order for them to become fertile again

“I simply used a different cock” he replied


The woman smiled, clinked his glass

And said “what a coincidence”

GALLIC SANDALS

 

A Frenchman, wearing sandals,

Was in a bit of a gallic strop

After teasing about his footwear

His name was Phillipe Phillop

Friday, 14 April 2023

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 434

 

There was an old woman of Leeds,

Who spent her time in widows’ weeds;

She mourned for her team

And premier league dream

This hopeful old woman of Leeds!

ARE YOU WEARING KNICKERBOCKERS?

 

Are you wearing Knickerbockers?

Well listen, I don’t mean to flummox

But it looks like the Knickerbockers

Have fallen out with your socks

COULD JESUS HAVE BEEN BLACK?

 

Could Jesus have been Black?

Maybe, its true he liked Gospel

He called everyone brother

And He didn't get a fair trial

CERTIFICATION SMALL PRINT

 Kate asked, “What are you doing?” 

And her husband replied “Nothing” 

“But you’ve been studying our

Marriage certificate for an hour”

He said “Well to be honest Kate

I was looking for the expiration date”

DINNER MENU

 

“Do you want dinner?”

Mavis asked her husband Joe

“Lovely! What are my choices?”   

She replied “Yes or no”