WHILE EAVES DROPPING IN THE VESTRY

 

While eaves dropping in the vestry

I heard mention of a blasphemy palaver

Or so I thought, but it turned out

That the vicar said raspberry pavlova

I ASKED CAROLINE OUT ON A DATE

 

I asked Caroline out on a date

At the start of the summer break

Neither of us had dated before

So, there was quite a lot at stake

We met at the entrance to the park

And walked to the café on the lake

We sat at a table in the window

Where she had a strawberry milk-shake

Which she drank through a straw

But my choice proved to be a mistake

As I tried to be more grown up

And ordered coffee and cupcake

The coffee was bitter and something

In the cake caused a hives outbreak

Our second date was less eventful

But was far more memorable

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 412

Tuesday’s child isn’t full of grace

Because she and her friend Trace

Are full of cheap cider and ale

And will end up in A&E without fail

ARE YOU WEARING SLUTTY GARB?

 

Are you wearing slutty garb?

And are you trying to talk smut

Well, I admire your endeavour, but

You’re wearing too much for a slut

MARRIAGE IS ALL ABOUT COMPROMISE

 

Marriage is all about compromise

For example my wife wanted a cat

I on the other hand did not want one

So, we compromised and got a cat

THE END OF THE WORLD IS NOT A JOKE

 

The end of the world is not a joke

In fact it’s a source of great sorrow

But people still tell end of the world

Jokes like there is no tomorrow

WHAT MAKES PHILANDERERS CHASE WOMEN

 

What makes philanderers chase women

They have no intention of marrying?

Clearly the same urge that makes canines

Chase cars they have no intention of driving