I WENT INTO HOSPITAL FOR MINOR SURGERY # 15

 

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The staff did not fill me with a sense of well being

As I was going under, I heard the surgeon say

“It’s a shame Page 47 of the manual was missing!”

MY SISTER WORKS IN THE IT DEPARTMENT

 

My sister works in the IT department

And got sacked for having dyslexia

Her boss told her to “unzip his files?”

She misunderstood and he sacked her

MY GRANDDADS NOT VERY TECH SAVVY

 

My granddads not very tech savvy

So, when he got a laptop I was amazed

But when I asked what windows version

He had, he replied “double glazed”

MY GRANDSON IS ALWAYS ON HIS PHONE

 

My grandson is always on his phone

It’s scrambled his brain I think

“What you need is a life” I said

He replied “Ok send me the link”

THE LAMB AND PUP

 

I walked into my local

“The Lamb and Pup”

The landlord said “Bitter?”

I replied “No just fed up”

A 16 YEAR OLD LAD

 

A 16 year old lad asked the barmaid for a drink

“I can’t sell you booze to quench your thirst”

She replied “Do you want to get me in trouble”

The lad smiled and said “Can I have a beer first”

WE CALL MY AUNT BETH THE EXORCIST

 

We call my aunt Beth the exorcist

Its cruel but we can’t resist

It’s because whenever she gets near

All the spirits disappear