72 Miles From The Sea

Friday, 3 March 2023

He was fed up with his device

So in frustration without flinching

He dropped his iPad in the river

And it immediately started synching

Tuesday's child

Is full of grace,

(Well, it’s not that lump of a boy next door then)

Are you wearing a smug expression?

Well, that can mean just one thing

As you’re dressed in that dark suit

You didn’t shake before letting it swing

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As to stop I’d first need to start

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The staff did not fill me with a sense of security

As I was coming around I heard someone say

“I hope this patient has already had a family”

Being English we like to think that

Australians have no refinement at all

But today they are not without culture

They have Greek yogurt now after all

I had heard that there was such a thing

As sophisticated North Americans

And I have to admit when I heard that

I assumed they were talking about Canadians