72 Miles From The Sea

Thursday, 2 March 2023

Are you wearing a smug expression?

Well, that can mean just one thing

As you’re dressed in that dark suit

You didn’t shake before letting it swing

I have given up sex for Lent

Which is to some small extent

An empty gesture on my part

As to stop I’d first need to start

I went into hospital for minor surgery

The staff did not fill me with a sense of security

As I was coming around I heard someone say

“I hope this patient has already had a family”

Being English we like to think that

Australians have no refinement at all

But today they are not without culture

They have Greek yogurt now after all

I had heard that there was such a thing

As sophisticated North Americans

And I have to admit when I heard that

I assumed they were talking about Canadians

Was the first man Adam, an Englishman?

There’s a question with which to grapple

As he was stood next to a naked woman

And he had thoughts only about the apple

There was once a Dutchman

Who made inflatable togs

It was only a short career

As he popped his clogs