WHAT’S A BIDET?

While looking at a hotel website

His granddaughter asked “What’s a Bidet?”

The old soldier smiled wryly and retorted

“It’s a couple of days before D-Day” 

DESICCATED SNACK POT

 

A new desiccated snack pot

Of dried dog and noodles

Are on sale in North Korea

They’re called Not Poodles

NEW BOND VILLAIN

 

There is a new Bond villain

Although the story is old

His name is Gold sphincter

And he has piles of gold

PAVLOV’S DOG AND SCHRODINGER’S CAT

 

I wanted a book about Pavlov’s Dog

And Schrodinger’s Cat

And I wanted it quite a lot

So, I asked a librarian

And she said it rang a bell,

But she wasn’t sure if it was there or not

AU PAIR

 

The meaning of the term

Au pair, is a “Social equal”

So, you will find your husband

Ran off with the social equal

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 386

 

Harlequin ladybird, fly away home

Your kind are not welcome here

So, get your Harlequin spotted arse

Back to where you belong in Asia

ARE YOU WEARING VESTMENTS?

 

Are you wearing vestments?

Oh reverend Katie

You know they should

Be hanging in the vestry

When the service is over

That’s where they should be

But for my birthday treat

You’ve kept it on for me

And now I get to unwrap

The reverend Katie