I WON AN ALL-EXPENSES PAID

I won a round the world trip,

All-expenses paid

But my wife wanted to go

Elsewhere I’m afraid 

WHAT DO YOU CALL THE DAY?

 

What do you call the day?

That comes after Ash Wednesday

And before kissing Friday

Well, we just call it Thursday

ASH WEDNESDAY

 

There is a religious reason

Why it is a significant day

But cremated pancake on the hob

Is the only ash around our way

AN UMBRELLA WAS LIKE A PANCAKE

 

Granddad always said, an umbrella was like

A pancake, but I didn’t know what he meant?

I only found out many years later that it was

Because they were seldom seen after lent

I THOUGHT I’D TRY TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

I thought I would try tossing a pancake

Well that turned out to be a big mistake

The first three didn’t leave the pan at all

The next two were sliding down the wall

The only one dispatched with any grace

Then splashed hot fat right in my face

TOSSING THE PANCAKE

 

Tossing the pancake

How hard could it be?

Well quite difficult

Which surprised me

What an awful mess

After the first three

I gave up after four

That landed on me

TOSSING A PANCAKE

 

Tossing a pancake

I can do that

Just get a fry pan

Heat up the fat

Mix up the batter

As easy as that

One on the ceiling

One on the cat

One on the door

One on the mat

One on my head

Like a sweet sticky hat