THE GREATEST SHAKESPEARIAN VILLAIN

 

The greatest Shakespearian villain,

Who would make a demon scowl,

Was Macbeth the chicken-killer,

Because he did murder most foul

MY SISTER ELLEN

 

My sister Ellen

Married beneath her

But then she is

Six feet tall to be fare

JOHN IS A VERY UNLUCKY LOVER

 

John is a very unlucky lover

Unlike James, his twin brother

As John always misses the kisses

While James kisses the misses

AVOID DATING PRETTY MEN, NO MATTER

 

Avoid dating pretty men, no matter

How much they illuminate the gloom

Because the pretty men are all like

Cheap fireworks, they go off too soon

A YOUNG MAN STOLE A KISS FROM HER LIPS

 

A young man stole a kiss from her lips

And to his surprise she didn’t have a fit 

Instead, she smiled and said to him

“Just put that back from where you took it”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 376

Oh, do you know the muffin man,

The muffin man, the muffin man,

Oh, do you know the muffin man,

He’s the one in the muffin top

ARE YOU WEARING BRUT?

 

Are you wearing brut?

How 1970s of you

And it smells as if

You splashed it all over too