Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
So if you tire of unwanted attention
Just tell him you’re incompatible
and if he questions your remark
Say it’s because you’re not inflatable
I think that their name is an misnomer
If the Borrowers never
return anything.
In fact I would go as
far to say they’re
Little more than a
criminal enterprise ring
Mind the gap, mind the gap
Is not an announcement
about safety
But is pointing out
the difference
Between the timetable
and reality
I had a fitting with my tailor and
All the measurements
were wrong
I should really have
known better
After all his name is
Wei Tu Long
Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
He goes to the doctor
without hesitation
And four hours later
has a penis extension
Are you wearing shades?
Yes, they do look cool
Though not really
suitable
And I would say as a
rule
Wearing them in a cinema
Make’s you look a fool
Yesterday I went to see the doctor
Because I was feeling like hell
And he said, “You've got hypochondria”
“Oh no” I said “Not that as well”
