WHINGING HOLIDAY MAKERS # 1

 

We went on a self-catering

Luxury break in Bognor  

But the fully equipped kitchen

Didn’t have an egg separator

WHY DID THE VOYEUR CROSS THE ROAD?

 

Why did the voyeur cross the road?

Well not just to get to the other side

The reason he wanted to cross over

Was so he could find somewhere to hide

FOGHORN LEGHORN’S WIFE ONLY LAID

 

Foghorn Leghorn’s wife only laid

Her eggs in the winter or fall

But that made sense, as she was

No Spring Chicken after all

THERE IS AN OWL OF LOW MORALS

 

There is an Owl of low morals

That frequents our park

And subsequently it doesn’t

Give a hoot after dark

AMONG ABOMINABLE SNOWMEN

 

Among abominable snowmen

There is a virgin called Betty

And to all her kith and kin

She is known as a not Yeti

ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a red chapeau?

It’s a very daring choice of yours

Because wearing a red chapeau

They’ll say red hat and no drawers

JOYS OF A CHILDHOOD LOST

 

We virtually lived outside

Me and my friends

On long summer adventures

Until the days ends

But we weren’t just

The fair weather sort

We played outside even

When days were short

Rolling around in piles

Of autumn leaves of gold

Splashing through puddles

Despite being told

Playing imaginary games

About being lost in the fog
running through the woods

Chasing the dog.

In winter when Saturday came

Then off we’d go

With luck we’d wake

To find a fresh fall of snow

Then we’d happily sledge

Across the snowy land

Or build a snowman

Till we can’t feel our hands

Hours pass in minutes

As we’d happily roam

But despite the cold

We didn’t rush to get home

When we did we crunched

Through the crisp winter frost

Those were the joys

Of a childhood lost