ARE YOU WEARING A RED CHAPEAU?

 

Are you wearing a red chapeau?

It’s a very daring choice of yours

Because wearing a red chapeau

They’ll say red hat and no drawers

JOYS OF A CHILDHOOD LOST

 

We virtually lived outside

Me and my friends

On long summer adventures

Until the days ends

But we weren’t just

The fair weather sort

We played outside even

When days were short

Rolling around in piles

Of autumn leaves of gold

Splashing through puddles

Despite being told

Playing imaginary games

About being lost in the fog
running through the woods

Chasing the dog.

In winter when Saturday came

Then off we’d go

With luck we’d wake

To find a fresh fall of snow

Then we’d happily sledge

Across the snowy land

Or build a snowman

Till we can’t feel our hands

Hours pass in minutes

As we’d happily roam

But despite the cold

We didn’t rush to get home

When we did we crunched

Through the crisp winter frost

Those were the joys

Of a childhood lost

PICKUP # 16

 

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Say to her “If I follow you home

Tonight, it’s not as it seems

I was just brought up to

Follow my dreams"

SIT DOWN IN THE MEADOW

 

Sit down in the meadow

And we will bill and coo

We will choose a perfect spot

But please be careful do

Oh, dear that was thoughtless

I did suggest you take care

It was rather ill considered

For you to sit down there

As if you lift your buttock up

You’ll see you squashed

A perfect patch of buttercup

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 346

 

As I was going by Charing Cross

The station was closed of course

And a sign said outside of the station

A replacement bus service is in operation

WHINGING BRITS ABROAD # 12

 

The beach was right outside the hotel

Which I suppose was alright

But is wasn’t much like the brochure

The sand was yellow not white

WHY DID THE PHILANDERER CROSS THE ROAD?

 

Why did the philanderer cross the road?

Well not just to get to the other side

The reason he wanted to cross over

Was so he could get to another man’s bride