Are you wearing a Halloween Top?
Well, I very much like
what I see
Because there isn’t
very much of it
Sunday, 9 October 2022
ARE YOU WEARING A HALLOWEEN TOP?
I USED TO START AN AWFUL LOT OF FIGHTS
I used to start an awful lot of fights
When I was at school,
I was a bully
But I had attention deficit
disorder
WAS ANDREW MITCHELL RIGHT?
Was Andrew Mitchell right?
Are policemen a bit
plebby,
According to a survey
It would appear they
enjoy Typhoo tea,
Because of the adverts
Most of them live in
new-build semis
Furnished by DFS or
IKEA
They watch The One
Show
And think it’s the
news
Their diet consists of
Pot Noodles
Cook in sauces or
instant mash
They shop from the
catalogues
Their favourite comedian
is Jim Davidson
Entertainment is a
60-inch telly
Mr Policeman drinks
Heineken
While his partner favours
Lambrini
And despite the Andrew
Mitchell libel case
They will still vote
Conservative
Because they think
Mitchel’s a Tory
And they don’t realise
it’s the same thing
DRAGONS PERFORM AEROBATICS
Dragons perform aerobatics
In the azure sky
Griffons are asked to
join in
But won’t even try
Dodo’s dance a perfect
Flightless jig
The bald eagle appears
Wearing a wig
Mermaids do aqua
ballet
On a flat sea of glass
Unicorns canter through
Scented meadow grass
That’s the end of my
Nonsense I fear
If you want anymore
Try Edward Lear
HAPPINESS TRANSACTION
Money can't buy you happiness
Isn’t that supposed to
be the deal?
Well, I beg to differ,
because
MY NEW NEXT DOOR NEIGHBOUR
My new next-door neighbour,
It turns out, is a
really pretentious twat
He has travelled quite
a lot
So, his house is named
Bindair Dundat.
SHE THOUGHT I WAS THE ONE
When I married my wife
She thought I was the
one
Now she thinks, on a
scale
Of one to ten, I am a
one
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