I WAS VITAL AND VIGOROUS

 

When I was young

I was vital and vigorous

But I was a stickler for rules

Strict and rigorous

But life passes in a flash

Life’s moments are the shortest

Because you go from

Rigorous to rigor mortis

DIETING TIP # 5

 

If you drink a diet coke

With a chocolate bar

They cancel each other

Out, so there you are

No calories count

For the chocolate bar

MY SISTER HAS A TANNING SALON

 

My sister has a tanning salon

It is hers and her husband John’s

And at the national tanning awards

Their establishment won bronze

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 253

 

There once was a lady named Paddy Rabbitt

Who had a flat in Tower Bridge she did inhabit

But no one would believe it

Not a living soul would have it

That a flat in Tower Bridge housed Paddy Rabbitt

 

For StanTheMan

ARE YOU WEARING A SCARY SCOWL?

 

Are you wearing a scary scowl?

And now you’re doing the growl

Am I supposed to throw in the towel?

 

You evil troll you cause me no fear

Back to your bridge do you hear

Your powers are useless here

ARE YOU WEARING A GHOULISH JUMPER?

 

Are you wearing a ghoulish Jumper?

Well, its contents are rather bumper

I don’t think you’re one of those kooks

And that’s a lovely pair of spooks

A CHEESY TALE

 

My love life is like

A wheel of Swiss cheese I think

It’s full of holes

And the remainder tends to stink