WE HAVE A NEW MARKET IN TOWN

 

We have a new market in town

And they do Korean street food

One customer ordered poodle noodles

Which I thought was quite rude

THERE WOULD BE MORE RESERVES

 

There would be more reserves

Remaining in the North Sea

If the Scots didn’t have

Such a deep-frying tendency

EVERY WEEKEND IN ESSEX-LAND

 

Every weekend in Essex-land

Daddies’ precious little petal

Gets off her tits and tanked up

On gallons of Princess Petrol

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 245

 

John Cook was riding up

Shooter's Bank,

Pedalling fast

He thought running red lights a bit of a prank

ARE YOU WEARING A PINNY?

 

Are you wearing a pinny?

And why exactly are you wearing it?

You said “A man’s home is his castle”

And she said “Then you can clean it”

I MET AN INTERESTING GIRL AT A PARTY

 

I met an interesting girl at a party

At first, I admired her from afar

She claimed that just by knowing

The make of an individual’s car

She could discern their personality

Apparently, I shouldn’t own a car

I WAS BULLIED VERY BADLY AT SCHOOL

 

I was bullied very badly at school

To it, my mind reluctantly returns,

I was hospitalized on one occasion

With full thickness Chinese burns