I’D LOVE A SECOND HONEYMOON

 

“I’d love a second honeymoon”

His wife said to him

He replied “what a good idea,

Who will you go with then?”

HE WAS A SERIOUS SWIMMER

 

He was a serious swimmer

And was in the pool constantly

But his progress was halted

In his lane, by an elderly lady

“How long must I wait?” he asked

She replied “until I finish my pee”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 218

There was an old wife

Who did eat an apple;

But she spat it out,

“Bloody Golden Delicious”

ARE YOU WEARING A CONFIDENT AIR?

 

Are you wearing a Confident Air?

There is certainly a hint of smugness I can trace

Just remember that confidence is at its peak

Just moments before you fall flat on your face

PUT DOWN # 52

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

If he starts spinning you a line

Just say if you tire of his fawning

Did you eat a bowl of stupid

For breakfast this morning?

SHE CHOSE TO WEAR BEIGE # 1

She chose to wear Beige

Quite unusual for a ball gown

It’s like a proper colour, but

With the volume turned down 

AFTER HENRI HAD BEEN TO THE DENTIST

 

After Henri had been

To the dentist his mouth

Was fresh and clean

But undid all the good work

By gargling garlic

Flavoured Listerine