TWO PSYCHICS

 

Two psychics stopped and the first one said

As by chance they happened to meet

“You're feeling good today. How am I?”

As they met one another in the street

SHE WAS DEFINITELY ONE FOR A BARGAIN

 

She was definitely one for a bargain

Olympic standard if I had a hat I would doff

She liked a bargain so much she had her husband

Circumcised for the sake of ten percent off

YOU ARE NOT MY CUP OF TEA

 

You are not my cup of tea, though

You’re not beyond help to be sure

But admitting you’re an asshole

Is the first step towards a cure

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 214

 

There was a monkey

Climbed up a tree;

No it’s the boy from next door,

Silly me

ARE YOU WEARING GUMBOOTS?

 

Are you wearing gumboots?

The great dependable welly

They’re only short coming being

They make your feet smelly

ONE OF THE GREAT BENEFICIAL # 2

 

One of the great beneficial

Things after you retire

Is that Tied shoes

Are considered formal attire

PENSIONERS DON’T COUNT PENNIES

 

Pensioners don’t count pennies

Out of necessity

It’s just that only they

Have the time you see