21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 205

 

Rub-a-dub-dub,

Three men in a Pub,

And how do you think they got there?

The butcher, the baker,

The candlestick-maker,

They can’t remember to tell the truth

And to be honest they don’t really care

ARE YOU WEARING BLACK GLOVES?

 

Are you wearing black gloves?

Oh, it’s one of your naked escapades

Just gloves and matching shoes

Well, you look like the five of spades

RED MINI

 

My dad bought a new red Mini

He had it parked up at home

With a go faster stripe down the side

And brightly polished chrome

 

It had leather seats

And the dash was polished wood

It was nineteen sixty-two

And it looked like a Mini should

MY SATNAV IS A VERY HELPFUL DEVICE

 

My Satnav is a very helpful device

But you don’t need to take its advice

Sometimes you have to give it a rest

Because it doesn’t always know best

HIS HEAD WAS SO FULL OF FILTH

 

His head was so full of filth

And dirty thoughts

Which all centred around

Getting into her shorts

And when the act was culminated,

By all reports

It was clear he wasn’t the only one

With dirty thoughts

YOU ARE WELL ENDOWED

 

You are well endowed

Is it all you?

Or is it padded up there

I won’t care

If you let me in up there

And what about below stairs

Just let me get in under there

Into your under wear

And I will find your derriere

Among your treasures

And some mutual pleasures

LIKE A HUMID AFTERNOON

 

Like a humid afternoon

She was left breathless

Passions bloom

Lingering on her cheek

Contentment’s smile

Playing about her lips