THE DIARY OF A VIRGIN

  

The diary of a Virgin

Is a very short read

As there are within

No entries indeed

LAST NIGHT I HAD FOR MY TEA

 

Last night I had for my tea

A delicious beef stew

With dumplings, better known

As my wife Sue

SLUMBER WARNING (IP)

 

There is a limit to how early

You might go to your repose

Or you might end up retiring

Before you actually arose

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 185

 

The big ship sails on the ally-ally-oh

The ally-ally-oh, the ally-ally-oh

Oh, the big ship sails on the ally-ally-oh

Just off the coast of Somalia

ARE YOU WEARING TWEEDS?

 

Are you wearing tweeds?

Well that certainly exceeds

Your rather arousing apparel

Really brings out the feral

Complimented by stout hardy shoes

In my own Victorian views

And I wouldn’t knock

Some good country stock

Let me help you over this stile

As I think all the while

How to best meet my needs

Of getting inside your tweeds

THE GREATEST QUESTION

 

The greatest question

Has no answer

It is neither yes or no

 

The great question is

"What does a woman want?"

And I just don’t know

I REMEMBER THE DAYS BEFORE I MARRIED

 

I remember the days before I married

And what I was able to do

And I remember with a wistful heart

I could do anything I wanted to