SIGHTS, SOUNDS, SMELLS, TASTE AND TOUCH # 2

 

Sights, sounds, smells, taste and touch

It’s funny the things that cause the memories to awake

When all of a sudden memories of Dad flood back

It’s Pipe tobacco, Geraniums and Madeira Cake

WHEN MY GIRLFRIEND SUGGESTED # 2

 

When my girlfriend suggested

We play hospitals

I thought phwor

But she gave me an enema

And now I don’t want

To play anymore

PICKUP # 5

When you’re on the pull

If you want to break the ice

Say something funny

Or say something nice

Be devastatingly witty

Or say something clever

Be complimentary

Or just lie in your endeavour

“Do you believe in love at first sight?”

You might try to ascertain

And then you could continue

“Or should I walk by again?”

I WENT TO MY VEG PLOT TO CHECK

 

I went to my veg plot to check

On my tender little darlings

And heartbreakingly I found

Decimation of my seedlings

 

The perpetrators are self-evident

By the tell-tale slimy slug ooze

And I could tell they had help

Due to the clearly visible Snail trail

RACING THROUGH ON THE GREEN

 

Racing through on the green

Breaking hard on the red

Foot dallying on the amber

Before belting across instead

I WANTED TO DONATE SPERM

 

I wanted to donate sperm

But there was a difficulty

I couldn’t perform

As the surroundings were iffy

Then I found you could do it by post

And I came in a jiffy

PEPPA PIG IS VERY VERSATILE

 

Peppa Pig is very versatile

On Sundays is very nice

But also goes well with

Gnocchi, pasta and rice