ASK A STUPID QUESTION # 2

 

I walked past a homeless man

As I went into Co-op express

On my way out he said, “Any Change?”

I replied “No, you're still homeless”

LOST LUGGAGE

 

It was a dreadful flight

And it was late as well

Then I couldn't find my case

On the baggage carousel

So, I went to “lost luggage”

To report the loss of it

The woman looked the part

But I didn’t trust her a bit

She said she would apply 

Her professional hand

Then she said “now tell me

“When does your plane land?”

SWINGERS

Two couples decided to swing

And swapped partners to play

“That was the best sex ever”

Hugo said afterwards to Ray

His friend agreed and added

“I wonder if the girls are ok”

THERE’S AN ARMY SURPLUS STORE ACROSS THE STREET

 

There’s an Army surplus store across the street

That only sells camouflage gear as far as I can see

I don’t know how well the business is doing

But it seems a bit of a niche market to me

And I watched loads of people go in the shop

But coming out I could only count about three

I DO MENTAL ARITHMETIC

 

I do mental arithmetic

When I’m lying in my bed

I like to count the voices

I hear inside my head

THIS TALK OF CULLING BADGERS

 

This talk of culling badgers

Is completely unsound

If we keep discussing it

We’ll drive them underground

I'VE JUST HAD A LETTER FROM A SOLICITOR

I've just had a letter from a solicitor

To “once and for all” inform me

That contrary to what I might believe

Screwfix are not a dating agency