ARE YOU WEARING A ROSE?

 

Are you wearing a rose?

Its subtle fragrance, heaven knows

So sweet smelling to the nose

That Rose pinned to your lapel

Does intoxicate me so well

And does hold me in its spell

SELF MEDICATION

 

To counteract the signs of aging

I have an alternative to the

Cosmetic treatment hustle

 

I just drink plenty of wine

It’s much cheaper than Botox

And paralyses more muscles

VERY RED CROSS

 

I supported the Red Cross

For many Years

But their hard sell tactics

Brought me to tears

 

Not content with

My monthly subscription

They bombarded me with requests

Of every description

 

First, they told of troubles

In foreign lands

I said “I can’t pay more

Than what I had planned”

 

So, they thought a change of tack

Will open my wallet

And told me what they did

In Nether Wallop

 

Emails and letters

Calling with the hard sell

Well, I’ve had enough

They can go to hell

CHARITABLE BEQUEST REQUESTS # 1

 

The Red Cross are getting greedy

Not happy to just milk me in life

They want me to will them a percentage

Of what should go to my wife

MEETING TIME

 

I have found in meetings

Where minutes are taken

Hours are wasted

Unless I am mistaken

NICE ONE JAMIE

 

My children can never forgive

That interfering Jamie Oliver

For bring about the early demise

Of their favourite Turkey Twizzler

LOST PROPERTY

 

I left two bottles of Whisky

On the train to Prestatyn

I thought them gone for ever

Until a nice man called Glynn

Of the lost property office

Telephoned me from Prestatyn

To say the man who found them

Had just been handed in