DYNAMITE BLONDE

 

The body builder took off his vest

And Bimbette said, "What a Great chest

It’s because of all the exercising maybe”

He said, ‘That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Baby.'

 

The body builder took off his trousers

And Bimbette said “Oh wowsers

What great legs you have, strong like iron!”

He said, “That’s 100 lbs. of dynamite, Hon”'

The body builder took off his shorts

But instead of complimentary retorts

Bimbette ran away screaming in fear

“I’m getting the hell out of here”

 

He quickly got dressed and followed on

And earnestly asked her what was wrong

“I got afraid of all that dynamite because

When I saw how short the fuse was!”

HOMEOPATHIC HUMOUR

 

I told a joke about alternative medicine

And it only raised a smirk

That’s the problem with Homeopathic humour

It doesn’t really work

WHAT A THOUGHTFUL GUY

 

My wife and I walked passed,

A very posh restaurant last night.

"Did you smell that food, it smelt incredible?"

She said and she was quite right

 

Being something of a thoughtful man

I mused as we walked along the street 

“Oh, what the hell she deserves it”

So, I walked her passed again as a treat

SHIRK ETHIC

 

I’m not possessed of the work ethic

But I don’t mind going there

However, the eight-hour wait

To go home is a real nightmare

ALIMONY VENDOR

 

A sign on the vending machine read

This machine takes all your money

And gives nothing in return

I thought not unlike my ex-wife, Honey

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 123

 

When I was a bachelor, I lived by myself,

but people told me not to get left on the shelf

So, I made up my mind and got me a wife

Too late I realised I had surrendered my life

ARE YOU WEARING CLEAN UNDERWEAR?

 

 

Are you wearing clean underwear?

That’s what my mum asked me. I swear

Every time I left the house to go out

Are you wearing clean underwear? She’d shout

As I proceeded swiftly with my fleeing

But her concern was not for my well being

She was worried about her embarrassment

If I were to suffer a serious accident

And be undressed by the nursing staff

Where my dirty pants would raise a laugh