WHAT GREATER COMPLIMENT

 

What greater compliment

Could be bestowed

On any man

Than to say of him

At the end of his life

“He was faithful and true,

And discharged, with fidelity

Every trust

Confided to his keeping”

I would settle for that

WHAT GREATER EPITAPH

 

What greater epitaph

Could be written

Of any man

Than to say of him

At the end of his life

“While upon his death

He has left no

Large earthy riches,

To his afflicted family

But he has bequeathed

To them a legacy

More precious than gold

More imperishable

Then monumental brass,

A spotless name”

DON’T LEAVE HOME WITHOUT THEM

 

I recently saw an email

With photos of celebrity types

Getting out of sports cars

Showing off their tripe’s

Now not wearing panties

And showing off your ass

Isn’t very cultured

And is really lacking class

DANIELLE ASKED RAY

 

Danielle asked Ray

“How was your check up today?

Was everything ok?”

Ray replied rather glum

“All was going fine, ho hum

Then he stuck his finger up my bum”

Danielle tried to reassure

“Well, that’s standard procedure

Yes of course I’m sure”

Ray said “if you insist

Then for now I will persist

And stay with the same Dentist”

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 109

 This is the house that Jack built!

This is mortgage on the house that Jack built.

This is the rat that foreclosed on the mortgage

That was on the house that Jack built.

ARE YOU WEARING A TEDDY?

 

Are you wearing a teddy?

Does that mean you’re ready?

For a spot of bedroom play

If you are you just have to say

Please tell me that you are

Awaiting me in your boudoir

I WAS EXPLAINING REINCARNATION

 

I was explaining reincarnation to my wife

And how you return as a different form of life

She said she wanted to come back as a cow

She obviously misunderstood some how