I’m a little despot
Short and stout
Hear my people
Scream and shout
I say jump
They ask how high
If they don’t
Then they die
I am the chosen
But not by them
I am the chosen
I tell them when
I’m a little despot
So, they say
See my people
Wake up one day
The Church ladies have cast off clothing
Of every kind, generously
strewn
They may be seen in
the back room
Of the church hall
every afternoon
Mary had a little skirt
It was way above knees
And when she sat down
You could see her
fleece
Are you wearing suspenders?
One of my favourite
seven wonders
That miracle of
engineering
Both practical and
endearing
Oh, what a ransom I
would pay
If you would kindly
see your way
To show the smallest
glimpse of thigh
That would be most
pleasing to my eye
I was a stranger in town,
And didn’t know my way
around
“Could you tell me
mush?
How I get to Shepherds
Bush?”
To a local inhabitant
I did beg
And he replied “up the
Shepherd’s leg”
My wife and I use Vaseline,
I’m not ashamed to say
My wife and I use it
for sex
I’m not embarrassed to
say
We put it on the doorknob
To keep the kids at
bay
After fifty years of married life
And after being
prompted by his wife
A husband set out to
describe her
And this was what he
said of her
"You're A, B, C,
D, E, F,
G, H, I, J, K,
L." He said sweetly
“And what does that mean?”
She asked suspiciously
"Adorable,
Beautiful,
Cuddly, Delightful,
Elegant, Fragrant,
Generous, Heaven-sent.”
"Oh, that's so
lovely
What about I, J, K and
L?"
"I'm Just Kidding Love!" He laughed
And she made his eye
swell
