72 Miles From The Sea

DOCTORED ACCOUNT

My Doctor gave me six months to live.

Because I was terribly ill

But then he gave me another six months

When I said I couldn’t pay his bill

NAME CALLING # 2

I didn’t call her a dog

That would be hard to defend

But I did say she was

Mans best friend

DOUBLE STANDARDS

If a woman sleeps with ten men in a week

She is regarded in a sluttish way

Whereas if a man behaved in like wise

He’s regarded as a bit of a lad or gay

SUPPORT GROUP - LOW SELF ESTEEM

Do you suffer from Low Self Esteem?

Well that’s what Support groups are for

We meet every Thursday at 7 PM.

Just remember to use the back door

VERY POOR RECEPTION

An elderly man entered the surgery

And approached the receptionist

“Good morning, can I see the doctor?”

With a face that had never been kissed

And a manner to match she demanded

He tell her why he needed to go on the list

But he didn’t want to discuss it in reception

“You’ll have to tell me I really must insist”

Looking around at the other patients

'I’ve a problem with my dick', he replied

“You cannot say things like that

In the surgery” the receptionist chastised

“But you did ask me what was wrong

I must have misunderstood; sorry” he lied

“You should be a little more discreet

You have caused embarrassment I fear”

The Receptionist continued on

“You should say the problem is with your ear,

“You can be more frank with the doctor

But not cause any upset out here”

The man replied, “Why did you ask me

What was wrong, In front of everyone?

You shouldn't ask people questions

That could embarrass anyone”
The man walked out, waited several minutes,

And then returned to where he’d begun

“Good morning, can I see the doctor?”

He asked through dentures grit

The Receptionist smiled smugly

Enjoying the moment more than a bit

'There's something wrong with my ear,' he said

The Receptionist liked to see patients submit

“And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?”

Then he loudly said “I can't piss out of it,”

MOOSE ON THE LOOSE

When a Moose goes on holiday

He likes nothing better

Than eating the local cuisine

Especially the Moosesaka

SUPPORT GROUP – WEIGHT PROBLEMS

Do you suffer from a weight problem?