21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 103

 

Mary had a little lamb

She also had a horse

She never ate her ride

But ate the lamb of course

ARE YOU WEARING TIGHTS?

 

Are you wearing tights?

Or do you call them Pantyhose?

Maybe later I will find out

We’ll have to see how it goes

GINGER HEADED MAIDEN FAIR

 

All I can do is stand and stare

At the Ginger headed maiden fair

The girl with the shinning orange hair

Oh, beautiful maiden standing there

With tresses of reddish-brown hair

Please be the answer to my prayer

PICTURE HOUSE MODE

 

Bimbette and Peaches

Plus seventeen friends

All went to the cinema

 

At the booking office

The girl enquired

“Blimey why so many of yer?”

 

Bimbette said in reply

“Coz the advert says

18 or over."

THANK YOU FOR YOUR FAVOURS

 

Thank you for your favours, and joy they're bringing

Thanks coz now my pee is stinging

I wish I’d gone without it, I say in all honesty

What would life be?

Without an itch or a rash what are we?

So I say thank you for your favours

For giving them to me

So I Say
Thank you for that infection
For giving it to me...

 

Sung to the tune of “Thank you for the music” by ABBA

WHAT I SAW OF MY COUSIN

 

I pushed open the bathroom door

And there before me stood

My young cousin towelling off

So I looked away as soon as I could

 

I quickly told her I was sorry and

I saw nothing which wasn’t quite true

I did see her ample breasts

But didn’t see a nipple or two

 

I often recall that morning

Being a man of simple pleasures

When I got to see her chest

But didn’t glimpse her treasures

SENIOR WINE

 

Forget the Pinot Grigio and its ilk

And the endless night time wee’s

Would you like anti-diuretic wine?

Then the Pinot More should please