21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 102

 

Mary had a little secret

She was a bit of a lush

She was not white as snow

But pure as the driven slush

ARE YOU WEARING A BASQUE?

 

Are you wearing a Basque?

Is it a black one may I ask

Do you have a matching mask

And will you take me to task

STRAWBERRY HEADED MAIDEN FAIR

 

All I can do is stand and stare

At the strawberry headed maiden fair

The girl with the shinning blonde hair

Oh beautiful maiden standing there

With tresses of reddish-blonde hair

Please be the answer to my prayer

CITIZENSHIP TEST

 

I have had an idea

For a citizenship test

And based on the success

Of this quest

The asylum application

Result should rest

 

The test would begin

With a long queue

That stretches away

Out of view

And that is all

That they’d have to do

 

Stand in a queue

Without knowing

The reason why

Or where it was going

And by this their

British-ness is showing

 

But if they fail

If they break ranks

Then that’s it

They’ve drawn blanks

And it’s goodbye

And no thanks

AVIATION ASPIRATION

 

My daughter wants to be a pilot

At first, I was a little alarmed

But after I thought about it

My apprehension calmed

 

And I laughed at my foolishness

I felt silly, oh what a lark

After all it’s not as if

She will have to parallel park

SCRABBLED

 

After a scrabble marathon,

Hundreds of games back to back,

Tony Blair now feels vindicated

He finally found WMD in a rack

SEX IN SUBURBIA

 

Somewhere across this land

In house’s gable ended

Some frisky young frau’s

Are being table ended