Put downs work the best
For deflecting unwanted attention
But try to be amusing
As this relieves the tension
If he says “hey doll can I buy you a drink”
Ignore him, only reply
if he persists
“Maybe you'd be less
boring if I got to know you,
But I am not willing
to take that risk”
The potter breathing life
Into cold dead clay
An artist and his
canvas
Killing the White
The sculpture seeing
visions
In the lifeless stone
Wordsmiths weaving
Elaborate fabric with
their words
Wood carvers releasing
The image hid within
the wood
The unity between hand
and mind
Artists and artisans
all
Celebrate the victory
With your piers
Drown the woes of foes
In English beer
Sing loud the songs of
triumph
Whisper low of near
disasters
Be magnanimous in
victory
Be humble in defeat
Be proud, be loud
Be English
A love pat on the behind my dear
A subtle spank on my
dearest’s rear
An action speaking
loud and clear
Placed on the buttock
soft and plump
A subtle spank on
tender rump
The preamble to some
rumpy pump
The Celts are a proud lot
As they’ll tell you
like as not
But when the Romans
came to stay
The Celts up and ran
away
That is exactly what
they did
They ran away and hid
And there they stayed
on their own
Until the Romans left
for home
Then came the Vikings
and the Danes
So, the Celts ran away
again
This noble race mild
and meek
Happily playing hide
and seek
Well so much for
Celtic pride
Nobly running away to
hide
Now don’t climb on
your high horse
I am a Celt myself of
course
And those who run away
today
Live to run away
another day
Black lacy stocking, suspenders, or garters
Silk cami-knickers
will do nicely for starters
Brassiered packages
with straps like strings
These are a few of my
favourite things
Petite little
strumpets and long-legged fillies
Brunettes and redheads
stripped down to their frillies
Uniformed Nurses oh
the pleasures they bring
These are a few of my
favourite things
I always hold my wife’s hand when we’re out
People thinks it’s so
romantic, but it’s not
I hold her hand all
the time because I know
That if I let it go,
she’ll start to shop
