THE USES OF GOOSES # 1

 

One use of a goose

Is as a guard goose

As part of their charm

They give the alarm

However, guard geese

Aren’t easy to cease

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 66

 

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was black as night

But it’s not PC to call it black

So, she calls it dirty white

SLEEPLESS

 

How awful is insomnia

I can only imagine

I don’t suffer myself

As soon as pillow meets head

I sleep like the dead

 

My wife suffers terribly

She just can’t switch off

It’s like her very own

Rolling news programme, she said

News 24, all night in her head

1984

 

In 1984

The world changed

Irrevocably

It became darker

More foreboding

Not in an Orwellian way

But the sun was cooler

The wind sharper

The future more uncertain

That was 1984 for me

Because in the space

Of just a few short weeks

Tommy and Eric died

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 14

 

I don’t have a favourite;

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love square Clair

And plane Jayne

Prettier Leticia

And vane Lorraine

 

I love Slinky Pinky

And Bipolar Lola

Jammy Sami

And Tequila Sheila

 

I love Thirsty Kirstie

And Cabana Lana

Caffeine Kristine

And Marijuana Adriana

 

I love never fail Abigail

One of many Penny

Can’t fool her Tallulah

And spend a penny Jenny

NHS CUT BACKS # 4

 

The NHS has plans to save money

Which ENT consultants won’t follow

They won’t hear of budget cuts

They think the plans quite shallow

Which have got up their noses

And they find them hard to swallow

EXERCISE REGIME WEEK 3

 

You must have an exercise regime

My doctor advised me

But he said it is essential

To build it up very gradually

But by the third week

It started to get hard

As that’s when I started trying

To put on the leotard