WIFI WIFE

 

I call my wife my Wi-Fi,

You might wonder why

Well, she works at home usually

Or in the garden, truthfully

I have no physical connection to her

And at night the neighbour uses her

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 60

Hark, hark the dogs do bark

The chavs are coming to town

Some with piercings and some with tats

And one in a designer gown 

IN THE GAME OF LOVE

 

In the game of love, you know all the right moves

With Terpsichorean precision, purposeful and bold

You are mistress of passion, keeper of my heart

If they awarded medals for love you’d get the gold

SEXUAL PREFERENCES # 8

 

I don’t have a favourite,

I love each and every one

Whether happy or sad

Cheerful or glum

 

I love Dirty Gerty

And Randy Mandy

Stern Fern

And Bandy Sandie

 

I love Bored Maud

And Doughy Zoë

Glam Sam

And Showy Chloe

 

I love Choice Joyce

And Petty Lettie

Frigid Ingrid

And Sweaty Betty

 

I love Intense Hortense

And Hot Dot

Any one of them

Will hit the spot

HOW DO YOU MAKE A FRUIT CUP?

 

How do you make a fruit cup?

I know this, I won’t look it up

To get him to cup them

Just tell him that you love him

THE LYNX EFFECT

 

I bought some new Aftershave,

You should try it

It smells of sunflower seeds

The birds really love it

DIPLOMACY

 

Diplomats have the ability

To do their job so well

That they can tell you,

To your face, to go to hell

In a way that not only,

Does not offend you

But becomes something

You are looking forward to