Applying a tattoo
On a beautiful woman’s
skin
Is something akin
To drawing a moustache
On the Mona Lisa
Or a Chad on the
ceiling
Of the Sistine chapel
The only things that
can enhance
A woman’s beauty
Is a smile about her
lips
And a glow upon her
cheek
You have elegance
Poise and grace
A certain
sophistication
And what was once
called “it”
You have beauty
And sex appeal
You know what you’ve
got
And how to use it
You have style
And fashion sense
You know what goes
And what does not
So, answer me this
Why do you choose?
As your date
A tattooed Neanderthal
Twinkle, twinkle little star
Are the services very
far?
Oh I really hope they
are
Or I will Tinkle,
Tinkle in the car
America doesn’t need to invade
To find oil anymore
Because in an ironic
twist of fate
Oil is invading their
shore
Wednesday’s girl
So full of woe
How does fickle love
Mistreat you so
Sad Wednesday girl
Left with red eyes
By unfaithful love
For whom she cries
Oh Wednesday girl
Weeping for her lover
Don’t waste your tears
You will find another
Plastic surgeons think themselves Gods
As they try to turn
back the clock
I think plastic
surgery is nonsense
Trying to hold back
the ravages of time
By nipping and tucking
And implanting and
enhancing
It is an exercise in
futility
People who have face
lifts
Don’t look younger
Just permanently
surprised
The medical profession
By trying to preserve
aging flesh
Is approaching the
problem
From the wrong
direction
Would it not be
better?
To transplant the
brain
Of a mature man or
woman
Into the body of a
vacuous teenager
Then you could have
fabulous sex
Followed by great
conversation
Great fun games for the English summer
They don’t have to be
expensive
Play new swear word
Scrabble
It’s a simple game not
for the pensive
All words must be in
common usage
And should be
genuinely offensive
