72 Miles From The Sea

Saturday, 5 March 2022

UNFORGETTABLE

He was such a forgetful man

He was like the absent-minded professor

Unfortunately, he was so forgetful

That he forgot to become a professor

AIMING TO HIGH

I went in search of a maiden fair

And saw a vision standing there

But I knew as I held her in my stare

For me to have a future with her

I should be twenty years younger

And her standards much lower

PUT DOWN # 37

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

“What would it take” he might say

“For you to go out with me?”

Just reply to him

“Me to lower my standards dramatically”

DESPERATELY SEEKING

She seeks Mr. Right

Someone who’s simply awesome

A strong, intelligent man

Tall dark and handsome

A King or a Prince

Healthy wealthy and wise

A good conversationalist

With come to bed eyes

Generous to a fault

Patient and kind

Devotedly attentive

And domestically inclined

A constant companion

A lover and a friend

A man of substance

On whom she can depend

But if a man seeks a woman

Then a deaf-mute, with no sense of smell,

Large breasted, nymphomaniac,

Contortionist, would suit well

INDISPENSABILITY

You think you are an important employee

You think to yourself “they can’t replace me”

Indispensability is in your frame of mind

Always on hand, one of the reliable kind

You never take vacations your work is your life

You work every weekend no time for a wife

There is more to life than work, no don’t scoff

Work is a means to an end, take some time off

You may think you are indispensable but you’re not

You think your contribution will never be forgot

But the thing that you will find most incredible

Is that the graveyard is full of the indispensable

Friday, 4 March 2022

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 37

As I was going to St. Ives

I met a man with seven wives,

Seven wives now that’s really tough

I’ve got one and that’s enough

PUT DOWN # 36