LOVE IS CONTAGIOUS

Love is like a bad winter cold

It strikes at the young and the old

It’s not something for which they can inoculate

There is no cure for those who participate

So even if you feel like you have the flu

Love is just something you must go through

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 17

 

A diller, a dollar, a 10 o'clock scholar,

What makes you arrive so late

It’s no good arriving at 10 o'clock

You’re Headmaster for goodness sake

HAPPY BIRTHDAY # 13

Congratulations and felicitations

But don’t overdo the celebrations

Too much may lead to behaviour quite amusing

And cause you to think that you can sing

PUT DOWN # 16

 

Put downs work the best

For deflecting unwanted attention

But try to be amusing

As this relieves the tension

"I think I could make you very happy”

Is a line he might be weaving

So just reply to him

“Why? Are you leaving”?

SWING

I’m in the motor trade and I’ll try anything once

So I went to one of those swingers parties 

I took the wife along and she was well keen

She’s a good looker when she’s dressed up tarty

 

But after I dropped my car keys in the bowl

I realised that I had really dropped a clanger

As I’d arrived at the party with the latest model

But I went home with an old banger

GOOD JOB SON

 

My son got a job today

At a bowling establishment

“Ten pin” I asked him

“Oh no” he said “it’s permanent”

FEVERISH ONCE MORE

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

In contact with evergreen vegetation

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed Pine flu