FEVERISH AGAIN

 

I am suffering from gammon flu

It’s not particularly nasty

I was suffering from swine flu

But then they cured me

WHAT A LOAD OF BANKERS

 

Bonuses are a reward for a job well done

In short they have to be earned

But you gave yourselves bonuses

While you were fucking up the world

You even gave yourselves bonuses

When we all knew you’d fucked up the world

And you gave yourselves bonuses

While we bailed you out from your fuck ups

And now you are rewarding yourselves again

But not for a job well done

Now you’re giving yourselves bonuses

Simply for not fucking up

FEVERISH YET AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

Turned out to be MAN flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed whine flu

THE CANDY MAN

 

He has had a very sweet tooth all of his life

He even found himself a rather sweet wife

He’d eat cream cakes and all kinds of sweeties

Now he has high cholesterol and type 2 diabetes

FEVERISH AGAIN AND AGAIN

 

That medical catastrophe

The flu pandemic

Is not as bad as expected

It’s not even an epidemic

A large number of reported cases

On closer examination

Were found to have been

Preceded by intoxication

This is a totally different strain

Of contagious flu

Which the W.H.O.

Has been renamed wine flu

WE’LL ALL BE KILLED

 

They tell us we are in the grip of another

Catastrophic climate crisis

That will drown the world

By melting the polar ices

Well if you are unconvinced

That the sword of doom is falling

Then you know the argument is weak

When data is replaced by name calling

Anyone not on message

Gordon Brown tells us in his piety

That we are no better

That the flat earth society

Well is it any wonder we are sceptics

When in the eighties we were told

By the doom Sayers

We would all die because of the hole

In the ozone layer

If we did not act we would kill

The polar bears and the Pandas

Well to be frank someone sold a lot of fridges

On the back of that propaganda

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 14

 

Jack and Jill

Went up the hill

They took with them a bucket

Jack made a play

Jill said “no way”

So he said to himself “oh bother”