The Cole Porter classic “Anything Goes”
Is a song everyone
knows
“In olden days a
glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as
something shocking
Now heaven knows
Anything goes”
Which attempted to
define
The moral decline
Well, little did he
know
How low morals would
go
Now little is left to
the imagination
When it comes to
female emancipation
Women display
themselves to readily
Or dress
inappropriately
Their varying degrees
of undress
Expose pierced and
tattooed flesh
In thongs with exposed
arses
Or skirts as short as
west end farces
Naked midriffs of all
shapes and sizes
Leaving no room for
surprises
Flesh erupts like a
muffin
Over waist bands
unable to keep it in
And no one should ever
wear Lycra
Unless their figure is
micra
There are things that
should remain hidden
And only revealed when
bidden
Equally there are also
things about a woman
That does not need to
be revealed to a man
For example, a cause
of great consternation
Is that we get to hear
about their constipation
Loss of bladder
control issues
Feminine freshness
wipes and tissues
Then there is the
shaving and waxing
And treatments men
would find quite taxing
There are things we
don’t need to see or hear
I just want to make
that clear
One behaviour that’s
quite disturbing
Is a mother in public
breast feeding
Nursing a baby, we
don’t want to see
No matter how nice her
nurses maybe
But the very worst
thing to see
Is when they are out
socially
Woman kind when
emancipated
Failed to do what was
anticipated
In taming the animal
in men
And preventing his
wildness emerging again
Instead, women have
fallen into the pit
And show no intention
of leaving it
Laddettes and matrons
who should know better
End up drunk laying in
the gutter
Even at a holiday
resort
Men look on as they
disport
Cavorting bare
chest-ed
Free of the clothes
they have divested
As they display
manicured muffs
And unmatched collar
and cuffs
The tattoos, piercings
and body art
Are the only way to
tell them apart
Full of cocktails and
beer
And the odd infection
I fear
I’m not sure Mrs
Pankhurst
When the idea struck
her first
Envisaged that this
would be the way of it
And Cole Porter didn’t
know the half of it
“In olden days a
glimpse of stocking
Was looked on as
something shocking
Now heaven knows
Anything goes”
