A VOYAGE ROUND MY FATHER (3)

 

My dad told me

“Susan’s going to the west of India”

So, I said “Goa?”

“Well, that’s what they say about her”

WORKING LATES AND EARLIES

 

Why is it that the boss

Is in the office bright and early

Only on those particular days

When the rest of us are tardy

But is noticeably late

On the days that we are early

SHARING

 

We shared an umbrella when we first met

When caught in an April shower

We shared our first kiss

One night in the wee small hours

We shared a passionate embrace

And made love in culmination

Then we shared a secret

After we caught an unpleasant infection

THE IT GIRL

 

I had a first date with a girl

From the I.T. suite

Who for a computer nerd

Is really very sweet

It was a disaster

Not quite but almost complete

I wish that I could have hit

Ctrl Alt Delete

COMFORT EATER

 

Through a total lack of self esteem

I eat too much to ease my despair

And food has now replaced sex for me

So, I can't even get into my own underwear

I ONCE WROTE A NOTE

 

I once wrote a note

Writ on paper, hue of oat

Not of literary note

Worth less than a groat

Full of unimportant quote

Not worthy to promote

No ego should it bloat

No means to gloat

But it got my vote

 

The note I wrote

I put in my coat

The coat that I tote

The one on which I dote

The one with stoat

About the throat

My favourite coat

Now held my note

 

But I left the coat

That housed my note

Upon a boat

“The rampant goat”

That was afloat

In a bay remote

The note, the coat,

And the boat did float

 

So where was my note?

Memorized by rote

In my favourite coat

With throat of stoat

Floating like a mote

On some distant boat

With no shelter of cote

The note, the coat,

On that blasted boat

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

 

We were both young me and him

And full of vigour and vim

So why was our sex life so grim?

 

We understood the mechanics

We enjoyed each other’s bits

And knew where everything fits

 

So why? Pray tell me, was it

When we get down to do it

Our expectation were never met

 

We tried every artificial aid

Roll play and other forms of charade

So, a radical decision was made

 

We visited a doctor’s surgery

In hope to relieve our anxiety

Hooray there was nothing wrong with me

 

I could set my mind at rest

That when he was rummaging in my vest

I was functioning at my best

 

There was no problem with me, but him

Though both full of vigour and vim

He was the reason our sex life was grim

 

Because when we got down to jigger

And he was grappling with my figure

It quickly set off his hair trigger

 

His defect was certainly a pity

But I decided to dump Mr. Brevity

And found a man with sexual longevity