Since the BBC sacked all the Daleks
Most are just
scrounging off the state
But there is one
working at the Vatican
He doesn’t really
communicate
And it scares a lot of
the devout
When it says Excommunicate,
Excommunicate
Sunday, 2 January 2022
SINCE THE BBC SACKED ALL THE DALEKS # 3
SNOWMAN
What a lovely snowman
Big and round and tall
There isn’t anything I
like better
Really nothing at all
It’s the first thing I
look for
As soon as the snow
falls
It’s definitely a
snowman
See it has “Snowballs”
THE HEDGEHOG CULL
The campaigners have won
The Hedgehog cull
won’t be done
They argued it
shouldn’t go ahead
It was just wrong they
said
Saying they were un
putdown-able
I think they are just
un pickup-able
LOST PROPERTY
I left two bottles of Whisky
On the train to
Prestatyn
I thought them gone
for ever
Until a nice man
called Glynn
Of the lost property
office
Telephoned me from
Prestatyn
To say the man who
found them
Had just been handed
in
THIS TALK OF CULLING BADGERS
This talk of culling badgers
Is completely unsound
If we keep discussing
it
We’ll drive them underground
Saturday, 1 January 2022
NICE
Making your way in life, it’s nice
To know you can, once
or twice
Rely on other people
in a trice
For assistance,
guidance or advice
They’ll be no shortage
of advice
But knowing what piece
or slice
Of advice or guidance
will suffice
You might just as well
roll a dice
This axiom though it
be concise
Won’t be bettered to
be precise
So you take heed or
pay the price
“Don’t eat yellow snow
or ice”
LOST PROPERTY INQUIRY
“Good morning,
Is that lost property?
I have misplaced some
articles
Could you possibly
help me?
The last time I had
them?
Was on a train to
Waterloo
Traveling from
Rowland’s Castle
I think it was the
9.22
The items are of
particular import,
The first item was my
heart,
Which has been
returned,
In a state of disrepair,
but it’s a start
Other articles
include, my dignity,
My self-respect, have
you seen them at all?
What about my back
bone
Or perhaps you have
found my balls”
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