A LOT OF AGE

You simply have to face it

You are getting old like as not

When "getting lucky" means

You can find your car in the parking lot. 

BLUE NUN

Mother Superior called together

All the nuns in the convent

"I must tell you all something”

She began her grave statement

“Sisters we have a case

Of gonorrhoea in our community"

"Thank God," said an old nun

"I'm so sick of Chianti" 

BALANCED MARRIAGE

The relationship of a marriage plight

Is one in which one person is always right

And always has the upper hand

While the other is just a husband

TRUST A MAN

Only when a man is

Handcuffed securely 

Chained, restrained

Or bound up firmly

Can he ever be

Considered trustworthy

CHIRPY, CHIRPY CHEEP, CHEEP

Why do men whistle?

Chirrup chirp and cheep

When they are sitting

On the toilet seat

They seem to whistle through

Every strain and gripe

Does it help them remember?

Which end they need to wipe

Uncanny Tales – (56) Green Eyed Goddess

She was a green eyed goddess, pretty as a picture, but not common place, pretty like a work of art, her peaches and cream complexion as fresh as any English rose.

Ringlets of flaming red cascaded down on to her ivory skin, skin as pale and smooth as fine porcelain.

As she grew nearer a cloud enveloped him like he was in a room of exotically fragranced orchids, a perfume which left him heady and breathless.

Though as she approached, she let the fine silk gown fall to the floor, and she was naked before him and he almost forgot to breathe as he revelled in her nakedness.

Her breasts moved in harmony with her hips as she grew ever closer, and her figure was as pale as a ghost, but for a triangle of vivid red and nipples of the palest pink.

As she stood before him close enough for him to feel her breath she smiled and her cheeks were aglow with a scarlet apples blush and then she kissed him in a sweet tender prelude to the fiery passion that would follow and when they lay panting and spent in the afterglow it was passions bloom upon the cheek of the green eyed goddess.

I AM BEING HAUNTED BY

I am being haunted by

A dancing ghostly vision

Who really has the moves

So I call him Boogie Man