ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN TIGHTS? # 1

Are you wearing Halloween tights?

Adorned with a scary motif

Well if those long festive limbs

Decorated with a spooky motif

Were to entwine about me

Then my resistant would be brief

ARE YOU WEARING HALLOWEEN ANKLE SOCKS?

Are you wearing Halloween ankle socks?

You know I’ve often pictured them on you

And you really don’t need anything else

Just wearing those ankle socks will do

SENIOR MIGRATION

In the seventies

I moved to California

Because it was cool

Now I’m in my seventies

I’ve moved to Arizona

Because it's warm

COMIC CUTS

In the seventies

My parents

Begged me to cut my hair

Now I’m in my seventies

I beg my grandson

Not to shave his head 

TELL US WHO DID IT

 An old man was sitting on a bench

When something caught his view

He stared at a lad who sat next to him

The teenager had spiked hair in myriad hue

He just kept staring at the lad’s hair

It was colored green, red, orange, and blue

The old man just kept staring at him 

And the teenager lost his rag as they do

"What's the matter old man”?

He said loud enough for everyone 

“You never done anything wild in your life”?

And waited for a reply when he’d done

The old man said without hesitation

Replying as quick as a bullet from a gun

"I got drunk once and had sex with a peacock

I was just wondering if you were my son"

BRAINIAC

God gave men larger brains

Than cats and doggies

So they won't hump women's legs

At cocktails parties

OH HON

When.your wife says, 

"Let’s go upstairs and make love, hon."

You know that you are old

When you can do only one