I’m in the motor trade and I’ll try anything once
So I went to one of
those swingers parties
I took the wife along
and she was well keen
She’s a good looker
when she’s dressed up tarty
But after I dropped my
car keys in the bowl
I realised that I had
really dropped a clanger
As I’d arrived at the
party with the latest model
But I went home with
an old banger
I always hold my wife’s hand when we’re out
People thinks it’s so romantic, but it’s not
I hold her hand all the time because I know
One, two, three, four, five.
Once I caught a fish alive,
But what we couldn’t
see
The fish was full of
Mercury
Are you wearing black velvet?
You look like the Black Queen
That’s so fitting for the season
I really do love Halloween
Hello sexy Halloween girl
Just one look at you
And how my old heart
beats
So tell me sexy
Halloween girl
That you have no
tricks for me
But you will give me some
treats
He ordered room service, from the special
menu, the connoisseur’s selection, and when she arrived she walked into his
room and stood before him on six-inch stiletto heels as she slipped off her
long black leather coat, revealing just her underwear, a black silk teddy,
fitting her lithesome figure like a shimmering sheath, a garter belt about her
waist which held up sheer black stockings of the finest quality, lace trimmed
at the thigh.
Standing before him dressed all in black,
the tantalising taut lines betraying her nakedness beneath the silk and his
eyes greedily consumed her filthy allure which filled his head with vivid and
impure thoughts, but then that was what he ordered.
He was instantly aroused and wanted her
there and then but she knew how to tantalise and tease, so instead of
surrendering herself immediately to his lust, she knelt before him with his
eyes full of naked want and pleasured him, heightening his arousal and
maximising the experience, so when she granted him his wish it would in turn
satisfy her own hunger.
The sailor couldn’t play cards
On the voyage back
And that was because he
Was sitting on the deck
